So I was talking to a girl I used to work with about Jude being in NICU the other day and she asked if I had posted his birth story on my blog. I said yes but then after going back and looking I don't think I ever actually did...I posted a brief thing about it while he was still in NICU and a couple little details but never the whole thing. So here we go 9 months later...
Jude Elijah Wright-Birth Story
I was set to go to the Dr on Oct 9th for my last non-stress test. I went in and they did a scan and told me to be at the hospital that night at 9. Alan had to work till 7 so I picked him up and we grabbed something for dinner then we got up there about 8 since I'm notoriously early. They got me right in my room and the Dr came in to explain what we would be doing. At around 10:30 they started me on the cytotec. I honestly had no idea what it was and once I had taken it and figured out I refused anymore. They said that was fine since my contractions where coming along fine. So they said to rest and the Dr would come in the morning to start the induction. Well resting is not what I did. I honestly may have slept and hour if that. I was so excited/scared/all wired up. So 8 came and Dr M came in explained pitocin to me and how it all would work. She checked me but I was still only 1cm and 50% effaced. I loved her throughout most the pregnancy but she then proceeded to break my water without telling me and I was very upset about that. It basically put me on a 12 hour timetable before they started to push a c-section which I did not want if possible. They started the pitocin and within 5 minutes I was starting to get contractions I could feel. They were not extremely painful and I told my mom if this was it I could handle it lol. They proceeded to come in about every 30 mins to and hour and up the pitocin. After about 4 hours I was maxed out per the Dr orders and I was REALLY feeling them. I don't have a high pain tolerance at all but I was making it ok. The hardest part was my back. I was having insane pain in my back with every contraction. I insisted on walking around as best I could since I was hooked to the monitor. I circled back and forth around my bed, climbed up and down off it and just tried to keep moving. Alan was amazing and with every bad contraction to have him stand behind me and apply pressure to my lower back helped a little. I had a student midwife who was training and they had asked if I would allow her to be present and help. She was very helpful on good positions and ways to calm my nerves. After a while though I'm not going to lie she started to get on my nerves as she was constantly telling me I didn't need meds, and I didn't need an epidural and I just got mad lol and said well if I want one I'm getting it end of story. She left and never came back. She may want to work on that before she gets her own patients. Suggestions are great but do not tell a laboring woman what she is and isn't going to do haha.
Alan, my mom, Neal, and my friend Heather where in the room with me. Around 2pm Mom, Neal and Heather stepped out to stretch their legs and get a bite to eat and they came and checked me. I was up to 5 cm 100% effaced. The dr gave orders to up the pitocin more and it got worse. I decided to try to lay for a little as I was so tired from not sleeping the night before plus I had a cold the week before so I had not had a good nights sleep in weeks. But it was not happening, the pain in my back was so intense I couldn't stand to lay. So I just stood and swayed back and forth. Sounds stupid but something about the motion just helped me through it. MY blood sugar had dropped some so they had me eat a icepop and it was heaven. Around 6 they came back in to check me and I was still at 5 cm even after the increase. She suggested I get an epidural since I was in tears at this point and felt like someone was breaking my back. I got the epidural and I regretted it as soon as it started working. I suffer from pretty bad panic disorder and that feeling send me into a mild panic. Plus only my right side was really going numb. They came in and adjusted the tubing and did it again and it really started working. Once again though from being so nervous I could not rest.
Around 6:30 they came in to check baby because his heart rate kept dropping. They turned the pitocin off and checked me again I was still 5 cm. The nurse did my vitals and I had developed a fever of 102.5 so my Dr came in and suggested we go ahead with a c-section. I agreed but I also broke down in tears. I was upset yes but more just scared. I just wanted to get my baby out healthy. Dr M was very sweet and even cried too saying she hates to even have to do it but she just wants what is best for us and I honestly believed her. They came in and prepped me in the room. By then Alan's mom and dad and gotten there to and Neal led everyone in prayer over Jude and I. They rolled me into the OR and Alan followed shortly.
This was honestly probably the easiest and scariest all in one. I started having panic attacks multiple times but I had an AMAZING anesthesiologist who stayed right at my head talking to me and making sure I was ok. He also sang Hey Jude for me and said he couldn't wait to see him because he loved the Beatles and had never met a Jude :). When she held him up over the curtain I think my heart literally stopped for a moment. It was the most amazing thing and I was instantly in love. I told Alan not to leave his side so he went with them to clean him up while they closed me up. They have a huge bid screen right next to your head so you can watch the baby and see everything they are doing while you lay there. He got all 8's and 0's on his apgar scoring. They moved me back off the table and then handed me Jude. I remember my first words to him where Happy Birthday sweet guy. My first words to Alan were has he got your crazy hair <3.
When we got into recovery they shad the pediatricians come in anc check him again as he was making alot of grunting and whistly breathing. They said he looked good to them. He latched on like a champ and I was able to feed him with no problems. Around 9 we got up to the mother baby floor and as they were doing their check they rushed out with the baby and I yelled at Alan to go! The other nurse told me he was getting dusky( turning blue) and they were going to take him to the nursery to be checked. After abour 30 minutes they came back with Alan and said he looked good. Family came up for a little while and left since it was past visiting hours. They left us alone with our little man for the first time. He was so amazing. He slept mostly but finally acted like he wanted to nurse. He started nuring but then it was like he was gasping for air. He started turning blue and Alan ran out to get someone. They came in and once again took off to nursery with Alan right behind. I sat there with no clue what was going on until around 12am. It as the longest time in my life. Alan felt horrible but he knew I'd rather him stay right there. They said his pediatrician wanted to put him in NICU because he had an infection and was spitting up some weird green bile. I had not seen him since about 9:30 and was going crazy. I said I wanted to go but they said I had to stay in the bed and rest. I had a very sweet nurse and she said she would take me up around 5am. Well Needless to say I didn't sleep AGAIN. At 4:55 I rang the nurse bell and said OK take me.
She put me in a wheelchair and we made our way up 1 floor to NICU. After not seeing my baby for almost 8 hours she rolls me up to him and he was covered in tubs, and wires, and hooked up to some machine that wouldn't stop beeping. I couldn't handle it and I just bawled my eyes out. Alan had been there with him and explained what was happening. He was hooked on an Iv for fluids and medication. He told me that they had pumped his little stomach to try to remove as much of the bile as possible. The though broke me in half. I asked to hold him and as soon as I got him his heart rate went steady. It was amazing. I put him skin to skin and he just melted into my arms right where he should be.
The next 4 days are a blur to me. In the NICU no one is allowed in there between 6-7 am and 6-7pm except staff for shift change. That was the ONLY time I left. We had great nurses and we had horrible nurses. I was told I could not breastfeed him because every-time I picked him up I "messed the wires up". I fought tooth and nail and refused to give him a bottle. After day 2 he would not latch. I found out later they had been giving him bottles in those times when I was not allowed in. They would tell me I was crazy I needed to sleep. They were probably right but I was not leaving my baby. I slept when I could in the chair for a few minutes here and there and I snuggled my baby. Family came and visited and we had an amazing Pediatrician Dr Thingvoll who was in love with Jude.
If you've never been in NICU it's a very depressing place. You have no privacy other then curtains. There are about 8 babies in one hall just separated by curtains. I was so sad because I seen babies lay there and parents NEVER came to see them. I literally spent a few hours a day just praying for these babies and their family's it was so sad. Well when Dr Thingvoll found out I was very stubborn and I was not leaving Judes side he put in a special request and got us moved to a transition room. Talk about relief! It's nothing fancy but it's a small wing that has 10 rooms in it. You have the baby crib and all the hook ups, a pull out couch, a recliner and your own bathroom!! Once we moved in they did a GI scan and figured out Jude had sever Acid Reflux. We were set to come home Monday the 15th. But it didn't happen. Sunday night Jude started having bradycardia spells. It's where the heart rate drops below 80. His would dip down ito the 40's setting the alarm off. All the nurses would run in and we would kinda have to startle him and it would come back up. That night he had over 75 occurrences. Dr. Thingvoll came in the next morning and said unfortunately they could not release him like this. They started him on prilosec that day. I won't go into all the NICU details. It is a long and horrible story of nurses who didn't communicate and made our lives a living hell. In a nutshell finally on Wed the 17th Alan went to the head of the NICU and freaked out on them. We had a meeting and I laid it out what was going to be done and how. After that we had no problems and great nurses. They kept saying they couldn't believe how self sufficient we were. I didn't understand until I finally left the room for the first time and seen the same thing I had seen in our NICU hall. They're were babies in these rooms with NO parents! It made me mad because it was not easy to get these rooms! They're were other families who wanted to be in these rooms and couldn't get it because these other people were taking them.
So on Thursday the 18th they came in and said he looked great and as long as he went 24 hours with no occurrences we would get out Friday. He did great and we finally headed home on Friday the 19th. He was 9 days old and we hadn't slept in over 10 days for more then 2-3 hours a day here and there lol. Home was like heaven!
It was an wonderful.terrible experience all in one. All that matters to me now though is the beautiful soul we were blessed with! If I have another I will fight harder for my rights. but hindsight is 20/20 we live and learn.
