Cosleeping/bedsharing Vs cribs

This is a touchy subject. I usually would keep my comments to myself and move on but I had someone show me a ad that really got under my skin and I need to touch on it for a moment. I was sent this ad on facebook by someone who doesn't "agree"( as if it's her business anyway) with us bed-sharing.

This is just one of the many ad out there that are anti bed sharing. Let me start by saying BULLCRAP! America has become so separated from what is natural they have programmed a nation of parents who are afraid to be close to their children. I have no problem if your child sleeps in a crib. Jude slept in a crib for the first 5 months of his life. I was not yet comfortable with bedsharing until he was able to roll over on his own. Once he started showing us he could without trouble I moved him into our bed. It was the BEST choice I could have made. He sleeps like a little angel and we get a better sleep too. Being a mom I'm sure you've all done it too but I wake up ALOT to check on him. To have him right there in my arms just feels right. But the propaganda being thrown around is crazy. YES I'm sure their are MANY incidents that children have been hurt and it's so sad. But maybe if instead of this crap above we should educate people on how to safely cosleep and it wouldn't happen. Not to mention most ALL the incidents you see involve a parent on drugs, meds, or alcohol. These people are stupid enough to do this around their kids then nothing is going to help them. Don't use it against responsible parents.

        So here are the most common questions/comments we get...

1.) You have to put him in his own room sometime when are you going to? A simple answer is when it's right. I have no clue when that is. I have 7 sisters and my mom co-slept with them all. My youngest sister is 6 and she still ends up in mom's bed most the time but she is starting to want to sleep in her room with Karlee and Faith. Faith is 9 and she moved to her own room about 3 years ago. She will still admit if she gets scared she goes to mommas room <3. Karlee on the other hand started sleeping in her own room around 3-4. If Jude chooses to move out when hes 3-4 so be it, if he want's to stay until he is 7-8 he's more then welcome. I have no desire to rush my baby out on his own. He will grow as he needs to.

2. So you will let a 8 year old share a bed with your and your husband!? First off Jude has a bed in our room. Once he is old enough we may attempt to introduce him to it and just cosleep/room share but that is totally depending on where life takes us. I can't tell you what will happen in the years to come. But he's welcome either place.

3.) So what about your sex life? You know you won't have one( usually said in a sarcastic tone while eyeballing Alan lol). First off my sex life is definitely NONE of your business. But if you must know we will work it out just fine. I;m sorry your marriage lacks the creativity to limit you to a small area only located in your bedroom but we have overcome that problem thank you very much :)

4.) Are you not worried that he won't learn to soothe himself back to sleep? Well at 8.5 months I don't expect him to. I have no desire to leave him alone and let him cry out for me and figure out how to deal on his own. I enjoy being there for him when he wakes. He usually wakes and comes lunging at me to snuggle up and then passes back out. I promise you that as they grow they WILL learn to self soothe.

 Below I've listed some important guidelines to safe bedsharing. I will admit we do not follow the rule of mommy between baby and daddy. Jude sleeps between Alan and I. When we first started I was so scared Alan would be unable to do it. But he has been amazing! He is just as in tune to Jude as I am. It feels like the only place Jude could ever be <3.

    A couple guidelines for safe bedsharing are as follows( taken from http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/parenting/sleep-problems/sleep-safety/safe-co-sleeping-habits)

Safe Co-sleeping Habits

No matter where you have your baby sleep, be sure you provide a safe sleeping environment. If you decide to share sleep with your baby, and this arrangement is working for your family, observe these precautions:
DOS:

• Take precautions to prevent baby from rolling out of bed, even though it is unlikely when baby is sleeping next to mother. Like heat-seeking missiles, babies automatically gravitate toward a warm body. Yet, to be safe, place baby between mother and a guardrail or push the mattress flush against the wall and position baby between mother and the wall. Guardrails enclosed with plastic mesh are safer than those with slats, which can entrap baby's limbs or head. Be sure the guardrail is flush against the mattress so there is no crevice that baby could sink into.
• Place baby adjacent to mother, rather than between mother and father. Mothers we have interviewed on the subject of sharing sleep feel they are so physically and mentally aware of their baby's presence even while sleeping, that it's extremely unlikely they would roll over onto their baby. Some fathers, on the other hand, may not enjoy the same sensitivity of baby's presence while asleep; so it is possible they might roll over on or throw out an arm onto baby. After a few months of sleep-sharing, most dads seem to develop a keen awareness of their baby's presence.
• Place baby to sleep on his back.
• Use a large bed, preferably a queen-size or king-size. A king-size bed may wind up being your most useful piece of "baby furniture." If you only have a cozy double bed, use the money that you would ordinarily spend on a fancy crib and other less necessary baby furniture and treat yourselves to a safe and comfortable king-size bed.
• Some parents and babies sleep better if baby is still in touching and hearing distance, but not in the same bed. For them, a bedside co-sleeper is a safe option.  We recommend the bedside co-sleepers at www.armsreach.com.

  DON'TS:

• Do not sleep with your baby if: 1. You are under the influence of any drug (such as alcohol or tranquilizing medications) that diminishes your sensitivity to your baby's presence. If you are drunk or drugged, these chemicals lessen your arousability from sleep.
  2. You are extremely obese. Obesity itself may cause sleep apnea in the mother, in addition to the smothering danger.
  3. You are exhausted from sleep deprivation. This lessens your awareness of your baby and your arousability from sleep.
  4. You are breastfeeding a baby on a cushiony surface, such as a waterbed or couch. An exhausted mother could fall asleep breastfeeding and roll over on the baby.
  5. You are the child's baby-sitter. A baby-sitter's awareness and arousability is unlikely to be as acute as a mother's.
  
• Don't allow older siblings to sleep with a baby under nine months. Sleeping children do not have the same awareness of tiny babies as do parents, and too small or too crowded a bed space is an unsafe sleeping arrangement for a tiny baby.
• Don't fall asleep with baby on a couch. Baby may get wedged between the back of the couch and the larger person's body, or baby's head may become buried in cushion crevices or soft cushions.
• Do not sleep with baby on a free-floating, wavy waterbed or similar "sinky" surface in which baby could suffocate.
• Don't overheat or overbundle baby. Be particularly aware of overbundling if baby is sleeping with a parent. Other warm bodies are an added heat source.
• Don't wear lingerie with string ties longer than eight inches. Ditto for dangling jewelry. Baby may get caught in these entrapments.
• Avoid pungent hair sprays, deodorants, and perfumes. Not only will these camouflage the natural maternal smells that baby is used to and attracted to, but foreign odors may irritate and clog baby's tiny nasal passages. Reserve these enticements for sleeping alone with your spouse.

Use common sense when sharing sleep. Anything that could cause you to sleep more soundly than usual or that alters your sleep patterns can affect your baby's safety. Nearly all the highly suspected (but seldom proven) cases of fatal "overlying" I could find in the literature could have been avoided if parents had observed common sense sleeping practices.
For more about safe co-sleeping, click here