Breast is Best...but it doesn't alwasy work

I had every intentions of feeding my sweet baby breastmilk. To the point I never EVER thought about formula. It had been made very clear by many people Breast is Best. Period. Well unfortunatly things don't always work that way. When Jude was born by C-section as soon as I was wheeled into the recovery room someone came in started trying to get him to latch. He was resistant and she managed to get a little colustrum into him by her finger and said he was just tired we would try later. unfortunatly after getting to the mother baby floors around 9:45 my family came up and had all headed home by 10:45 for the night. We continued to try to get my sweet baby to latch on which he failed to do. He was gaggin and kept turning blue. He was taken to NICU around 1am and we found out he would be admitted. He was in NICU for 9 days and through out the time I pumped every 2 hours religiously as I was told. I tried to feed him but he was not able to latch. We finally were given a shield but he still acted very hesitant to feed. Finally we started bottle feeding him what I had pumped. One day lacatation came in and pretty much told me I had no choice I had to get him to latch insinuating I was a bad mother if i gave him formula as he was not gaining weight like he should be. While "working" with us one day( aka forcing my son onto my breast as he screamed and cried) He quit breathing. She was shocked and jus kinda stared while I shook him trying to get him to breath in. She said oh well I'm not sure what to do about that. Finally one day while I was napping my mother was visiting helping with baby so we could get a little sleep and when latation came in she KINDLY informed them I would pump exclusivley and they needed to leave it be. Other then dirty looks I never heard anything about it agian.
         Fast forward a little bit and we came home. Jude still would not latch and I was pumping every 2 hours and feeding him out of a bottle. I had been sick for over a week from doing this. Feeling like I had the flu ect. I later found out is was sleep deprivation from all the time in the NICU and making myself wake every two hrs at night to pump, then feeding baby. Between all of it, and stressing myself because I wasn't a "good" mother I was only sleeping about 1-3 hours a day if i was lucky. We finally made the hard choice to supplement with formula. I have been informed how I should continue to try, if I was determined enough and loved my son I would make it work. I still have certain people to this day that everytime I see them they have something to say. To those people I know what is best for me and my baby. I feel sad that I could not breastfeed. I longed for that but it didn't work. I love my son and I'm doing what's best for him and our family. So please so kindly butt out. My body, my boobs, my baby, my business.

BREASTFEEDING MOTHERS:

Mothers who breastfeed should be celebrated.  They are fantastic mothers who want what is best for their children.  They are strong, intelligent women who love their children enough to feed them in the best way they can.  Their children will be healthy, happy and strong because of the love a breastfeeding mother puts  into every feed, the time she spends bonding with her child and because her child is being nurtured and feed well.  Many breastfeeding mothers have overcome huge obstacles, heartbreaking experiences and pain – physically and emotionally to feed their babies. Often they have also had to deal with criticism from uneducated, rude individuals for breastfeeding their baby.  Many find that there is not enough support which is not good enough as a breastfeeding mother should have all the support she needs to breastfeed from her whole community.   A breastfeeding mother should be proud of the way she feeds her baby, she should celebrate what a wonderful mother she is and should know that she is successfully doing the best for her family and herself by providing healthy, nutritious food and love.  

BOTTLEFEEDING MOTHERS:

Mothers who bottlefeed should be celebrated.  They are fantastic mothers who want what is best for their children.  They are strong, intelligent women who love their children enough to feed them in the best way they can.  Their children will be healthy, happy and strong because of the love a bottlefeeding mother puts  into every feed, the time she spends bonding with her child and because her child is being nurtured and feed well.  Many bottlefeeding mothers have overcome huge obstacles, heartbreaking experiences and pain – physically and emotionally to feed their babies. Often they have also had to deal with criticism from uneducated, rude individuals for bottlefeeding their baby.  Many find that there is not enough support which is not good enough as a bottlefeeding mother should have all the support she needs to bottlefeed from her whole community.   A bottlefeeding mother should be proud of the way she feeds her baby, she should celebrate what a wonderful mother she is and should know that she is successfully doing the best for her family and herself by providing healthy, nutritious food and love.