5 easy way's we cut our monthly expenses

When Jude was born and we made the decision I would stay home pretty quickly. It was a very thought out plan and since then nothing has gone as planned lol. With both of us working we were bringing in plenty to pay the bills and lot's of fun money left over. Once I started staying home all the fun money went and we had to make some quick lifestlye changes. Here are some of the easy ways we made cut's in our budget.

1. The first thing to go was our cell phones. Now this one was hard. I thought I NEEDED my smartphone to live!! Well as soon as our contract ended we changed over to straight talk. I have a basic "dumb" phone but for unlimited talk,text,and data I pay $45.00. Alan uses his phone less so he went with the 1000min,1000text,and 2gb data for $35. Total it cut our bill down from $165.00 with our contracted plan to $85.00 after taxes!! That's a savings of $80.00 a month!

2. The next thing we did was cut out the cable. Let's be honest we pay TO much for cable in America. Our monthly bill for cab;e and internet was $135.00 a month! We bought a Roku for $75.00 and cancelled our cable. We subscribe to Netflix, and Hulu both $7.99 a month. There are SO many free channels on roku to take advantage of. We also may be doing amazon prime in the future which is $79.00 a year. We did the month free trial and loved it. So we know pay $19.99 for internet, and $16.00 for netflix, and hulu for a total of $35.99. A total savings of $99 a month!!

 

3. This one may not apply to everyone but quitting my job cut our gas bill DRAMATICALLY!. When I was working I alone was spending close to $300.00 a month in gas. By cutting out that trip daily we saved $300.00 alone. I've also learned to not be out gallivanting. We try to do all our shopping, errands ect 1 day. Then we go to church and any social activities on Sunday while we are out and about. We budget $100.00 a paycheck so $50.00 a week. There are times we have to allow a little more but on average we get by. When I was working we were spending roughly my $300.00 and then alan spent about $150.00 so $450.00. So was have saved about $200.00 a month there.

4. Entertainment has been our struggle. I love to shop, and go out and about. We have had to learn to limit this. We have started having movie nights in more often. We also limit eating out. Before I quit we were eating out about 3times a week! Averging about $20.00 a meal that's approx $60 a week so $240 a month! Now with two incomes that was no problem but that was not going to fly one 1 income. At first we cut back to only eating out Sunday after church. We realized quick that $80 a month is alot! So now we eat out once a month after church. We also allow $20.00 each in running money in case we have to grab a quick lunch when out and about.

5. Groceries has to be the hardest of all to cut. With the price of foo din America on the rise it's hard to feed a family of 3 cheap! We like to eat Organic as much as possible and that makes it even harder. I've learned that less is more. We are learning that we can cook with whole foods from scratch a alot cheaper then convenience foods. I won't lie it can be an upfront investment. I would not suggest diving head first into whole foods. We had to slowly use up what we had and start adding the better versions. We went from eating all convenience foods before I quit working with a grocery bill of approx $325.00 a  month and I can know feed us on approx $200.00 a month. So a cut of $125.00


           So with these 5 cuts in our household we were able to save approx $675.00 a month! Almost equivalent to me working a part time job. Now everyone's life style is different and some or all of these may not work for your family.  The main goal is to evaluate what you need vs what you want. We still have fun. We still save up and take trips, and splurge on things we don't really need. You have to or you will go crazy. But once you can prioritize some things are so easy to cut you won't even notice they are gone.

Relief

So I'm posting this in regards to all the breastfeeding post's I've been seeing due to it being Breastfeeding awareness month.  I'm sure the first thing coming to some peoples minds is great here she goes on another rant. Well it is. So if you don't want to read it or are sick of me talking about it leave now....

OK if your still reading I just had to post this.
I'm 100% supportive of Breastfeeding. I think it is an amazing thing. As a Christian I find it just one more amazing example of God's creation. I mean he created us PERFECTLY to take care of our babies. I'm a fan of feeding in public, as well as extended feeding is possible. I have no problem with either. Here's where my problem starts...

What about the women who could not do it. Regardless of if they couldn't physically or mentally do it. I see all these posts's whining ( and yes I WILL say whining) about getting weird looks, and rude comments about breastfeeding in public. The irony to all these post's is that when you link to these sites you see people who are trashing these women who could not breastfeed. Isn't that kinda hypocritical?? You don't want to be judged by how you feed but you want to judge others?

I was part of a formula feeding support group...Yes a SUPPORT GROUP!! REALLY!? I had beaten myself up so bad that I needed support to convince me I was a good mother for the way I was feeding my baby. How sad is that? I even started relactating KNOWING it would drive me insane. I ended it just a few weeks ago. I also deleted all my formula support groups and heres why.


1. I don't need your opinion or advice on how to care for my son. I feed my son, I love him and nurture him. I use a bottle you use your breast and that's fine.

2. I don't need to be told  I couldn't do what was best so at least I'm caring for my son...Really? Because I guess since I couldn't breastfeed I should just let him starve right?

3. I don't need to know ALL the harmful ingredients in formula. I'm not stupid. I KNOW formula is full of GMO's, sugar and crap like 90% of the food in America, but I also know my son is growing amazing, is well above his levels both physically and mentally and amazing. I don't tell you everytime you eat something that isn't organic/gmo free/ or healthy that your child is getting it through your breast milk. You know why? Because it's none of my business.

I'm done worrying about other people's opinions. I love to share advice don't get me wrong, But when do I get some support? When do I not get dirty looks when bottle feeding my son in public. I've seen the comments online "if I were bottle feeding no one would give me a second glance"..Oh really? I guess you've never formula fed in public. I've gotten comments, dirty stares,and much more. For months I thought I had to hide the formula as much as possible so people wouldn't know my "dirty secret". I even bought Medla bottles at first so hopefully people would just think it was breast milk. Well those day's are over. I'm proud that my son is growing so great and turning into an amazing child. It has less to do with what he eats and more to do with the love I give him.

So In honor of breastfeeding awareness month I'd like to say I support you breastfeeding mother. So please next time you see a mom bottle feeding please think before judging as well and show her some support. I see breastfeeding women get compliments on how great it is they are feeding their children. While when we give formula we are shunned and told we don't love our child and won't bond with them. Go up to her and say your an awesome mom. I can really see the bond between you and your child. Because even though she isn't breastfeeding the bond is still there.

My testimony

I've shared bits and pieces of my testimony before but I thought I would take a few minutes and lay it out.
I was raised by my mom primarily. My dad is an alcoholic and has been on and off drugs for years. He was mentally and physically abusive to my mom. I remember times where they would physically fight, as well as constant screaming. There have been more times then I can remember that we would have to sleep in my room with the door blocked because he had a gun and was threatening to kill her/us. We lived with him on and off until I was 7. I still had to visit him and I remember all the times we would have to meet at the police station so he would not hurt my mom yet they made me go every other weekend. I ended up going to 8 different schools so I never really got in with the good crowd.
              Fast forward till I was in the 7th grade. I started hanging out with the bad crowd and smoked Marijuana for the first time. I lied to a boyfriend and told him I was 16 and we dated for a long while. He introduced me to ecstasy, meth, and cocaine. I started sneaking out  and skipping school to be with him and get high. When I was in 8th grade I got busted selling baby aspirins as school passing them off as ecstasy. The school gave me an option of going to Drug counseling or permanent suspension. I ended up going but it was just because my mom made me. I ended up transferring to Valley Springs and that's where the real trouble started. I got caught with a guy who had busted out of juvenile hall and breaking an entering with him to get high. I was so lucky they found him and the cop gave me a good rough frisking and talk but they didn't press any charges on me. I was constantly trying to find anyway to get away from my family. I had a friend Josh who lived next door and he would come up and we would smoke in my bathroom while I was babysitting my little sister. I started dabbling in witchcraft and met some friends who really got me into it all. Eventually my mom got into church. I was raised in and out of church but we never stayed in more then a few months and it was all a joke to me. We started going to Mt Zion and I was starting to enjoy it but I didn't want to part with my old friends and ways. One day after I had gotten suspended my mom asked Pastor Cecil if he would talk to me. She had already gotten saved and was trying to keep us in church.
              When I went to meet with Pastor Cecil I was SO mad. I refused to talk to him and just sat there. I will never forge he had a painting that was a deception of Heaven and Hell. I asked him what was up with the creepy picture and he explained it to me. I laughed and we just kinda talked. I always thought he was a nice guy. Well that night when I laid down it weighed heavy on my heart. I kept thinking what if it's true. What is Hell was real. My mind was filled with lies and Satan so it kept trying to convince me that it was all fake. But I had let God slip a foot in the door of my heart and Praise God he KICKED it open. In the period of about 3 weeks I had alot of questions that pastor Cecil was amazing about answering. Then in Feb 2001 I gave my heart to the Lord.
                MY hardest struggle was getting away from my past. I tried to distance myself from my friend because that was the only way I knew how to get away from them. Some took it in stride and moved on without me. Others held on for dear life and almost drug me back in without even knowing what they were doing. I was struggling heard with my addictions so my mom decided to start me in homeschool. My sister had been doing it for a while. It was the best choice we ever made. I was able to focue on school but more importantly focus on my savior!
                 When I was 16 I met Alan. We started dating in 2003 and got married in 2004. I'm so thankful to God he brought me from the dark places I had been. While this story is brief it is still the story of amazing grace. I once was lost and now I'm found! Everyday I wake up is another day I've been blessed with and I plan to do my best to glorify him in every way!

This weeks Menu

Friday 7/19-  Homemade Pizza and French bread

Saturday 7/20 - BBQ Chicken / Greek Salad / French Bread

Sunday 7/21- Left over BBQ Chicken / Green Beans/ French Bread

Monday 7/22- Sloppy Joes ( pioneer Women recipe) and blue corn tortilla chips

Tuesday 7/23- Left over sloppy Joe and blue corn tortilla chips

Wednesday 7/24- Cubed Deer Steak /Potatoes / Salad / Grilled peppers

Thursday 7/25- Green Beans/ Fried potatoes / and Mediterranean rice

Friday 7/26- Cubed Deer Steak / Green Beans / Fried Rice

Sat 7/27- Pancakes/ eggs/ turkey bacon

Sun- 7/28- Hebrew National hot dogs, and BC tortilla chips

Mon- 7/29- Deer Filet / Green Beans/ Brown Rice

Tue 7/30 -BBQ Chicken / Green Beans / Fried Potatoes

Wed 7/31- Salads w/ grilled chicken

Thur -Alan off Eat out.

Judes Birth Story( am I honestly just posting this 9 months later!?)

So I was talking to a girl I used to work with about Jude being in NICU the other day and she asked if I had posted his birth story on my blog. I said yes but then after going back and looking I don't think I ever actually did...I posted a brief thing about it while he was still in NICU and a couple little details but never the whole thing. So here we go 9 months later...

Jude Elijah Wright-Birth Story
          I was set to go to the Dr on Oct 9th for my last non-stress test. I went in and they did a scan and told me to be at the hospital that night at 9. Alan had to work till 7 so I picked him up and we grabbed something for dinner then we got up there about 8 since I'm notoriously early. They got me right in my room and the Dr came in to explain what we would be doing. At around 10:30 they started me on the cytotec. I honestly had no idea what it was and once I had taken it and figured out I refused anymore. They said that was fine since my contractions where coming along fine. So they said to rest and the Dr would come in the morning to start the induction. Well resting is not what I did. I honestly may have slept and hour if that. I was so excited/scared/all wired up. So 8 came and Dr M came in explained pitocin to me and how it all would work. She checked me but I was still only 1cm and 50% effaced. I loved her throughout most the pregnancy but she then proceeded to break my water without telling me and I was very upset about that. It basically put me on a 12 hour timetable before they started to push a c-section which I did not want if possible. They started the pitocin and within 5 minutes I was starting to get contractions I could feel. They were not extremely painful and I told my mom if this was it I could handle it lol. They proceeded to come in about every 30 mins to and hour and up the pitocin. After about 4 hours I was maxed out per the Dr orders and I was REALLY feeling them. I don't have a high pain tolerance at all but I was making it ok.  The hardest part was my back. I was having insane pain in my back with every contraction. I insisted on walking around as best I could since I was hooked to the monitor. I circled back and forth around my bed, climbed up and down off it and just tried to keep moving. Alan was amazing and with every bad contraction to have him stand behind me and apply pressure to my lower back helped a little. I had a student midwife who was training and they had asked if I would allow her to be present and help. She was very helpful on good positions and ways to calm my nerves. After a while though I'm not going to lie she started to get on my nerves as she was constantly telling me I didn't need meds, and I didn't need an epidural and I just got mad lol and said well if I want one I'm getting it end of story. She left and never came back. She may want to work on that before she gets her own patients. Suggestions are great but do not tell a laboring woman what she is and isn't going to do haha.
                Alan, my mom, Neal, and my friend Heather where in the room with me. Around 2pm Mom, Neal and Heather stepped out to stretch their legs and get a bite to eat and they came and checked me. I was up to 5 cm 100% effaced. The dr gave orders to up the pitocin more and it got worse. I decided to try to lay for a little as I was so tired from not sleeping the night before plus I had a cold the week before so I had not had a good nights sleep in weeks. But it was not happening, the pain in my back was so intense I couldn't stand to lay. So I just stood and swayed back and forth. Sounds stupid but something about the motion just helped me through it. MY blood sugar had dropped some so they had me eat a icepop and it was heaven. Around 6 they came back in to check me and I was still at 5 cm even after the increase. She suggested I get an epidural since I was in tears at this point and felt like someone was breaking my back. I got the epidural and I regretted it as soon as it started working. I suffer from pretty bad panic disorder and that feeling send me into a mild panic. Plus only my right side was really going numb. They came in and adjusted the tubing and did it again and it really started working. Once again though from being so nervous I could not rest.
               Around 6:30 they came in to check baby because his heart rate kept dropping. They turned the pitocin off and checked me again I was still 5 cm. The nurse did my vitals and I had developed a fever of 102.5 so my Dr came in and suggested we go ahead with a c-section. I agreed but I also broke down in tears. I was upset yes but more just scared. I just wanted to get my baby out healthy. Dr M was very sweet and even cried too saying she hates to even have to do it but she just wants what is best for us and I honestly believed her. They came in and prepped me in the room. By then Alan's mom and dad and gotten there to and Neal led everyone in prayer over Jude and I. They rolled me into the OR and Alan followed shortly.
              This was honestly probably the easiest and scariest all in one. I started having panic attacks multiple times but I had an AMAZING anesthesiologist who stayed right at my head talking to me and making sure I was ok. He also sang Hey Jude for me and said he couldn't wait to see him because he loved the Beatles and had never met a Jude :). When she held him up over the curtain I think my heart literally stopped for a moment. It was the most amazing thing and I was instantly in love. I told Alan not to leave his side so he went with them to clean him up while they closed me up. They have a huge bid screen right next to your head so you can watch the baby and see everything they are doing while you lay there. He got all 8's and 0's on his apgar scoring. They moved me back off the table and then handed me Jude. I remember my first words to him where Happy Birthday sweet guy. My first words to Alan were has he got your crazy hair <3.
              When we got into recovery they shad the pediatricians come in anc check him again as he was making alot of grunting and whistly breathing. They said he looked good to them. He latched on like a champ and I was able to feed him with no problems. Around 9 we got up to the mother baby floor and as they were doing their check they rushed out with the baby and I yelled at Alan to go! The other nurse told me he was getting dusky( turning blue) and they were going to take him to the nursery to be checked. After abour 30 minutes they came back with Alan and said he looked good. Family came up for a little while and left since it was past visiting hours. They left us alone with our little man for the first time. He was so amazing. He slept mostly but finally acted like he wanted to nurse. He started nuring but then it was like he was gasping for air. He started turning blue and Alan ran out to get someone. They came in and once again took off to nursery with Alan right behind. I sat there with no clue what was going on until around 12am. It as the longest time in my life. Alan felt horrible but he knew I'd rather him stay right there. They said his pediatrician wanted to put him in NICU because he had an infection and was spitting up some weird green bile. I had not seen him since about 9:30 and was going crazy. I said I wanted to go but they said I had to stay in the bed and rest. I had a very sweet nurse and she said she would take me up around 5am. Well Needless to say I didn't sleep AGAIN. At 4:55 I rang the nurse bell and said OK take me.
                   She put me in a wheelchair and we made our way up 1 floor to NICU. After not seeing my baby for almost 8 hours she rolls me up to him and he was covered in tubs, and wires, and hooked up to some machine that wouldn't stop beeping. I couldn't handle it and I just bawled my eyes out. Alan had been there with him and explained what was happening. He was hooked on an Iv for fluids and medication. He told me that they had pumped his little stomach to try to remove as much of the bile as possible. The though broke me in half. I asked to hold him and as soon as I got him his heart rate went steady. It was amazing. I put him skin to skin and he just melted into my arms right where he should be.
                   The next 4 days are a blur to me. In the NICU no one is allowed in there between 6-7 am and 6-7pm except staff for shift change. That was the ONLY time I left. We had great nurses and we had horrible nurses. I was told I could not breastfeed him because every-time I picked him up I "messed the wires up". I fought tooth and nail and refused to give him a bottle. After day 2 he would not latch. I found out later they had been giving him bottles in those times when I was not allowed in.  They would tell me I was crazy I needed to sleep. They were probably right but I was not leaving my baby. I slept when I could in the chair for a few minutes here and there and I snuggled my baby. Family came and visited and we had an amazing Pediatrician Dr Thingvoll who was in love with Jude.
                     If you've never been in NICU it's a very depressing place. You have no privacy other then curtains. There are about 8 babies in one hall just separated by curtains. I was so sad because I seen babies lay there and parents NEVER came to see them. I literally spent a few hours a day just praying for these babies and their family's it was so sad. Well when Dr Thingvoll found out I was very stubborn and I was not leaving Judes side he put in a special request and got us moved to a transition room. Talk about relief! It's nothing fancy but it's a small wing that has 10 rooms in it. You have the baby crib and all the hook ups, a pull out couch, a recliner and your own bathroom!! Once we moved in they did a GI scan and figured out Jude had sever Acid Reflux. We were set to come home Monday the 15th. But it didn't happen. Sunday night Jude started having bradycardia spells. It's where the heart rate drops below 80. His would dip down ito the 40's setting the alarm off. All the nurses would run in and we would kinda have to startle him and it would come back up. That night he had over 75 occurrences. Dr. Thingvoll came in the next morning and said unfortunately they could not release him like this. They started him on prilosec that day. I won't go into all the NICU details. It is a long and horrible story of nurses who didn't communicate and made our lives a living hell. In a nutshell finally on Wed the 17th Alan went to the head of the NICU and freaked out on them. We had a meeting and I laid it out what was going to be done and how. After that we had no problems and great nurses. They kept saying they couldn't believe how self sufficient we were. I didn't understand until I finally left the room for the first time and seen the same thing I had seen in our NICU hall. They're were babies in these rooms with NO parents! It made me mad because it was not easy to get these rooms! They're were other families who wanted to be in these rooms and couldn't get it because these other people were taking them.
              So on Thursday the 18th they came in and said he looked great and as long as he went 24 hours with no occurrences we would get out Friday. He did great and we finally headed home on Friday the 19th. He was 9 days old and we hadn't slept in over 10 days for more then 2-3 hours a day here and there lol. Home was like heaven!
                It was an wonderful.terrible experience all in one. All that matters to me now though is the beautiful soul we were blessed with! If I have another I will fight harder for my rights. but hindsight is 20/20 we live and learn.

Cosleeping/bedsharing Vs cribs

This is a touchy subject. I usually would keep my comments to myself and move on but I had someone show me a ad that really got under my skin and I need to touch on it for a moment. I was sent this ad on facebook by someone who doesn't "agree"( as if it's her business anyway) with us bed-sharing.

This is just one of the many ad out there that are anti bed sharing. Let me start by saying BULLCRAP! America has become so separated from what is natural they have programmed a nation of parents who are afraid to be close to their children. I have no problem if your child sleeps in a crib. Jude slept in a crib for the first 5 months of his life. I was not yet comfortable with bedsharing until he was able to roll over on his own. Once he started showing us he could without trouble I moved him into our bed. It was the BEST choice I could have made. He sleeps like a little angel and we get a better sleep too. Being a mom I'm sure you've all done it too but I wake up ALOT to check on him. To have him right there in my arms just feels right. But the propaganda being thrown around is crazy. YES I'm sure their are MANY incidents that children have been hurt and it's so sad. But maybe if instead of this crap above we should educate people on how to safely cosleep and it wouldn't happen. Not to mention most ALL the incidents you see involve a parent on drugs, meds, or alcohol. These people are stupid enough to do this around their kids then nothing is going to help them. Don't use it against responsible parents.

        So here are the most common questions/comments we get...

1.) You have to put him in his own room sometime when are you going to? A simple answer is when it's right. I have no clue when that is. I have 7 sisters and my mom co-slept with them all. My youngest sister is 6 and she still ends up in mom's bed most the time but she is starting to want to sleep in her room with Karlee and Faith. Faith is 9 and she moved to her own room about 3 years ago. She will still admit if she gets scared she goes to mommas room <3. Karlee on the other hand started sleeping in her own room around 3-4. If Jude chooses to move out when hes 3-4 so be it, if he want's to stay until he is 7-8 he's more then welcome. I have no desire to rush my baby out on his own. He will grow as he needs to.

2. So you will let a 8 year old share a bed with your and your husband!? First off Jude has a bed in our room. Once he is old enough we may attempt to introduce him to it and just cosleep/room share but that is totally depending on where life takes us. I can't tell you what will happen in the years to come. But he's welcome either place.

3.) So what about your sex life? You know you won't have one( usually said in a sarcastic tone while eyeballing Alan lol). First off my sex life is definitely NONE of your business. But if you must know we will work it out just fine. I;m sorry your marriage lacks the creativity to limit you to a small area only located in your bedroom but we have overcome that problem thank you very much :)

4.) Are you not worried that he won't learn to soothe himself back to sleep? Well at 8.5 months I don't expect him to. I have no desire to leave him alone and let him cry out for me and figure out how to deal on his own. I enjoy being there for him when he wakes. He usually wakes and comes lunging at me to snuggle up and then passes back out. I promise you that as they grow they WILL learn to self soothe.

 Below I've listed some important guidelines to safe bedsharing. I will admit we do not follow the rule of mommy between baby and daddy. Jude sleeps between Alan and I. When we first started I was so scared Alan would be unable to do it. But he has been amazing! He is just as in tune to Jude as I am. It feels like the only place Jude could ever be <3.

    A couple guidelines for safe bedsharing are as follows( taken from http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/parenting/sleep-problems/sleep-safety/safe-co-sleeping-habits)

Safe Co-sleeping Habits

No matter where you have your baby sleep, be sure you provide a safe sleeping environment. If you decide to share sleep with your baby, and this arrangement is working for your family, observe these precautions:
DOS:

• Take precautions to prevent baby from rolling out of bed, even though it is unlikely when baby is sleeping next to mother. Like heat-seeking missiles, babies automatically gravitate toward a warm body. Yet, to be safe, place baby between mother and a guardrail or push the mattress flush against the wall and position baby between mother and the wall. Guardrails enclosed with plastic mesh are safer than those with slats, which can entrap baby's limbs or head. Be sure the guardrail is flush against the mattress so there is no crevice that baby could sink into.
• Place baby adjacent to mother, rather than between mother and father. Mothers we have interviewed on the subject of sharing sleep feel they are so physically and mentally aware of their baby's presence even while sleeping, that it's extremely unlikely they would roll over onto their baby. Some fathers, on the other hand, may not enjoy the same sensitivity of baby's presence while asleep; so it is possible they might roll over on or throw out an arm onto baby. After a few months of sleep-sharing, most dads seem to develop a keen awareness of their baby's presence.
• Place baby to sleep on his back.
• Use a large bed, preferably a queen-size or king-size. A king-size bed may wind up being your most useful piece of "baby furniture." If you only have a cozy double bed, use the money that you would ordinarily spend on a fancy crib and other less necessary baby furniture and treat yourselves to a safe and comfortable king-size bed.
• Some parents and babies sleep better if baby is still in touching and hearing distance, but not in the same bed. For them, a bedside co-sleeper is a safe option.  We recommend the bedside co-sleepers at www.armsreach.com.

  DON'TS:

• Do not sleep with your baby if: 1. You are under the influence of any drug (such as alcohol or tranquilizing medications) that diminishes your sensitivity to your baby's presence. If you are drunk or drugged, these chemicals lessen your arousability from sleep.
  2. You are extremely obese. Obesity itself may cause sleep apnea in the mother, in addition to the smothering danger.
  3. You are exhausted from sleep deprivation. This lessens your awareness of your baby and your arousability from sleep.
  4. You are breastfeeding a baby on a cushiony surface, such as a waterbed or couch. An exhausted mother could fall asleep breastfeeding and roll over on the baby.
  5. You are the child's baby-sitter. A baby-sitter's awareness and arousability is unlikely to be as acute as a mother's.
  
• Don't allow older siblings to sleep with a baby under nine months. Sleeping children do not have the same awareness of tiny babies as do parents, and too small or too crowded a bed space is an unsafe sleeping arrangement for a tiny baby.
• Don't fall asleep with baby on a couch. Baby may get wedged between the back of the couch and the larger person's body, or baby's head may become buried in cushion crevices or soft cushions.
• Do not sleep with baby on a free-floating, wavy waterbed or similar "sinky" surface in which baby could suffocate.
• Don't overheat or overbundle baby. Be particularly aware of overbundling if baby is sleeping with a parent. Other warm bodies are an added heat source.
• Don't wear lingerie with string ties longer than eight inches. Ditto for dangling jewelry. Baby may get caught in these entrapments.
• Avoid pungent hair sprays, deodorants, and perfumes. Not only will these camouflage the natural maternal smells that baby is used to and attracted to, but foreign odors may irritate and clog baby's tiny nasal passages. Reserve these enticements for sleeping alone with your spouse.

Use common sense when sharing sleep. Anything that could cause you to sleep more soundly than usual or that alters your sleep patterns can affect your baby's safety. Nearly all the highly suspected (but seldom proven) cases of fatal "overlying" I could find in the literature could have been avoided if parents had observed common sense sleeping practices.
For more about safe co-sleeping, click here

what is co-sleeping

This post is not meant to be offensive to ANYONE! It is not putting down anyone else methods. It's simply explaining ours because people have questioned me about it. <3

 

 http://kellymom.com/parenting/nighttime/familybed/

 What is co-sleeping?

Co-sleeping essentially means sleeping in close proximity to your child. It may be in the same bed or just in the same room. Some ways of co-sleeping that different families use are:

• Bed-sharing/Family Bed:
  Parent(s) sleep in the same bed with the child.
• Sidecar arrangement:
  Securely attach a crib to one side of the parents’ bed, next to the mother. Three sides of the baby’s crib are left intact, but the side next to the parents’ bed is lowered or removed so that mother and baby have easy access to one another. Commercial cosleeper/sidecar cribs are also available.
• Different beds in the same room:
  This might include having baby’s bassinet or crib within arm reach of the parents (easier at night) or just in the same room; or fixing a pallet or bed for an older child on the floor next to, or at the foot of, the parents’ bed.
• Child welcomed into parents’ bed as needed:
  The baby/child has her own bedroom, but is welcomed into the parents’ bed at any time. In many families, children start their overnight hours in a separate bed or room, but are welcomed into the parents’ bed after a night waking.

When Jude came home we made the choice that co-sleeping/room sharing was for us. We have been told that Jude would become to reliant. I challenge that with the fact that all my little sister co-slept and have turned into wonderful self-reliant little girls. We were told that we wouldn't have a sex life. I can assure you that is not the case ;). We chose this because it fits our family. I feel better with my son right with me. We do some bed sharing for a little while at night sometimes,but Jude sleeps in his own bed directly against my side. We do not believe in the cry it out method. We hold/rock Jude to sleep everynight in the livingroom with us. Once he falls asleep if we want to hold him we do, if not we place him in a playpen in the corner of our livingroom. He sleeps there until bed when we move him to the bedroom with us. I'm not stupid. I know that won't last forever. I know eventually we may have to move him to the bedroom but we will do this when the time comes. We know people who are very strict in their bedtime ways and making sure the baby sleeps in their own room. THATS FINE! if it fits your life it's your baby and what works best for your family. We just wanted to explain to everyone who has questions or comments :)

Thank you Jude

I'm blessed to have married an amazing, non-judgmental, loving, and affectionate man. Believe it or not I'm not just saying that for social media purposes lol. He has always told me I'm beautiful. I've never had a doubt that he doesn't love me the way I am but it's a different thing to really feel it. When I gave birth to Jude it was an experience like non other as all mommies know. But it was that moment I realized what beauty was. I always wrote my body off. Talked about how ugly it was ect. But Jude has changed that. My son made me love myself. He doesn't care if those pant's make me look "fat". He doesn't care how cushy my stomach is. He lays his sweet little head down on my chest and stares up with a love that cannot be replicated. When I leave a room he searches for my face. When he can't find me you can see the concern on his face. He loves his daddy, and mimi and family. But Momma is his world. I role over in the morning and there is his cute little face giving me the two tooth grin. He grabs both sides of my face and plants big sloppy lips on my cheek. He lays next to me in bed and rubs my hair or arm while I feed him. He doesn't see the chubby waist I see. He could care less about my lack of muscle tone in my arms. Surely he wouldn't care if I was 5 lbs heavier or 5 lbs lighter. I'm his mommy. For that simple fact he loves me. And because he loves me I love myself. I love this body that was able to grow this beautiful creature. I love this waist that protected my little one for 9 months. I love these arms that get to hold him everyday. I love this life that I've been given. Now don't get me wrong I know I need to and am actively trying to get in better shape. But not to be skinny, or prettier. To be healthy. To be here for Jude as long as possible. Like I said Alan has always loved me. I feel that love and I know it will always be there. But it is a completely different love then the love I see in my little boy. Between the two of them I'm sure to succeed in this amazing life.

Care Packages

So Its been on my mind for a while to start making some care packages for those down on their luck. We have alot of homeless people in Asheville. I claim to be a follower of Christ but I quickly check to make sure my doors are locked and move on by. I'm not saying I can take very homeless person home that I see. I'm also not saying you should let your guard completely down. Unfortunately that cannot be done with most anyone in today's world. It's going to be a slow start. We are a one income family but I'm praying God will provide and I know he will since he has put this heavy on my heart. I want to ask anyone though who may be able to donate anything to PLEASE contact me. The big thing will be backpacks. I think it would be the best thing to put this stuff in as it is easy to carry. If you know of something better though please let me know. Most everything can be bought at the dollar tree as far as food, water, hygiene items ect.  Clothes could be some spares laying around in your closet or even something bought at goodwill.  Some of the items I'm looking for would be as follows:

1. Food - Now, this is an obvious gift, the not so obvious part if what kind of food. Most homeless people don't have stainless steel fridge they carry along with them. Something that is in a plastic container or bag. This will keep it clean and germ free until eaten. Buy food that is ok being at room temperature for a while. This means, potato salad my not be the way to go, but a box of granola bars would be.
2. Water- Specifically bottled water is a great and affordable item you can give to a homeless person. We all need water. Sometimes you can find bottled water at the grocery store that has a strap built onto it, so you can sling it over your shoulder. This would be a very thoughtful gift for a homeless person.
3. Clothing - Specifically jackets. I recently saw a homeless man digging a jacket out of a public trash could about one block form Michigan Avenue. It was a little sad to see the differences between the tourists in town to buy the latest fashions on the Magnificent Mile and the homeless man who was digging out anything he could find just to fight off the chill in the Chicago air. Why not clean out your closet and give away those warm winter jackets that are just gathering dust in your closet? In the summer maybe just some spare t-shirts. Also some socks ect.
4. First Aid Kit - This is a simple and lightweight item that would help any homeless person. You can buy great first aid kits for rout $1 at dollar tree. This simple gift would be priceless to a homeless person. I would not go for a bulky fist aid kit because they will have to carry it around with them. Look for something small that would fit into a pocket or a bag.
5. Shaving Kit - I use shaving kit loosely. Basically any toiletries that might be handy. From handy wipes to simple tissues are all very useful.
6. Tooth brush and tooth paste - This is a simple and very affordable gift anyone can easily afford to give to a homeless person.
7. Sunglasses - This is a very simple and useful gift. Many homeless people are exposed to a variety of environmental elements. Something as simple as sunglasses can make life little easier.
8. Pre-paid food cards - At almost any fast food restaurant you can buy prepaid cards that would make a great gift for a homeless person. This would give them the opportunity to buy food, as they need it.
9. Stationary - Ok, I don't mean some stationary with fancy letterhead and their name on it. I mean what about a small bag filled with writing paper, a few pens, and even some pre stamped envelopes. You never know who a homeless person may wish they could get in contact with. Long lost family that they have been estranged from is probably a huge part of many home less people's lives.
10. Bible- I would most importantly like to include a Bible in there for them. King James Bibles can be purchased at the dollar tree for $1.

      If you see anything you have laying around and would like to donate Please message me on facebook or email me at lisanicolesw@gmail.com. I will come to you to pick it up if needed! If you don't have the resources to donate anything please do something even greater for me and pray. I can use that more then anything!

Christianity and circumcision

I was told when I found out I was having a boy that I must have him circumcised because it says we must in the Bible... um yes and no...We decided not to circumcise Jude and here is some information why.
Technically it WAS something that had to be done.

Genesis 17:9-14

⁹ And God said unto Abraham, Thou shalt keep my covenant therefore, thou, and thy seed after thee in their generations.
¹⁰ This is my covenant, which ye shall keep, between me and you and thy seed after thee; Every man child among you shall be circumcised.
¹¹ And ye shall circumcise the flesh of your foreskin; and it shall be a token of the covenant betwixt me and you.
¹² And he that is eight days old shall be circumcised among you, every man child in your generations, he that is born in the house, or bought with money of any stranger, which is not of thy seed.
¹³ He that is born in thy house, and he that is bought with thy money, must needs be circumcised: and my covenant shall be in your flesh for an everlasting covenant.
¹⁴ And the uncircumcised man child whose flesh of his foreskin is not circumcised, that soul shall be cut off from his people; he hath broken my covenant. 

But then Christ came and died for our sins. He fulfilled the covenant. 

1 Corinthians 7:18-19

¹⁸ Is any man called being circumcised? let him not become uncircumcised. Is any called in uncircumcision? let him not be circumcised.
¹⁹ Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments of God.

The ceremony of circumcision was an important part of the Jews relationship with God. In fact before Christ came circumcision was commanded by God for all who claimed to be follow him. But after Christ's death, circumcision was no longer necessary( acts 15, Romans 4:9-11, Galatians 5:2-4, Colossians 2:11). Pleasing God and obeying him is more important then observing traditional ceremonies.


So basically it isnot right or wrong. It's your decision. My personal decision was to not to and I based it on alot of research. I especially found alot of info from Dr Sears.

Whether or Not to Circumcise

This is a decision that many parents face. There are many misconceptions and out-of-date information that parents may read. Here is a summary of the pertinent issues that you should consider when making this decision.

1. Medical benefits - THERE ARE NONE! Do not circumcise your baby because you think there are some medical benefits. A recent review by the American Academy of Pediatrics looked at all the data from the past decades to see if there truly were any medical benefits. Their conclusion - NO. There are no significant medical benefits that make circumcision worth doing. Here are a few benefits that we used to think were true, and now know are not.
   
   • Cleanliness - although it is true, a circumcised penis does not collect any white stuff underneath the foreskin like an intact penis does, THIS IS NOT A MEDICAL BENEFIT. It is really just one less area to wash in the shower.  
   • Decreased risk of STD's - this was a myth that we now know is not true.  
   • Decreased risk of penile cancer - it used to be thought that circumcised men had a much lower chance of cancer of the penis. We now know that this benefit is much smaller than previously thought. The AAP determined that this benefit is so tiny, it is not worth circumcising for this reason.  
   • Avoiding infections in the foreskin - it is true, occasionally intact foreskins get irritated. This is easily treated with warms soaks and washing. Rarely, the irritated foreskin becomes infected. This requires antibiotics to clear up, but is easily treatable. Even if this does happen once or twice in a person's life, it is not a reason to circumcise at birth.  
   • Avoiding the need to do it later on - very rarely, someone has a problem with recurrent infections in the foreskin that need antibiotic treatment. Some of these men then need to be circumcised in an operating room under general anesthesia. This is extremely rare, however, and is not a reason to circumcise everyone at birth.  
   • Avoiding bladder infections - it used to thought that circumcised boys and men had a much lower chance of bladder infections. The AAP now knows that this benefit is very small, and is only true for the first few years of life. After that, there is no difference in the number of bladder infections. Again, not a reason to circumcise.  
   THEREFORE, IF YOU DECIDE TO CIRCUMCISE YOUR CHILD, DO NOT DO SO BECAUSE YOU THINK THERE IS ANY MEDICAL BENEFIT.
2. Religious reasons - some people choose to circumcise for religious or cultural reasons. This is a personal decision.  
3. Don't want to be teased - while this may have been true in the U.S. decades ago, the truth is that your uncircumcised kids will be in good company in the locker room when they are teenagers. Less and less people in the U.S. are now circumcising their boys.  
4. Too much trouble to take care of - some people think that an intact penis is too much trouble to pull back and clean, especially during childhood. Well, the truth is, you are not even supposed to pull back the foreskin until it naturally comes back on its own between age 3 years and adolescence. So there really isn't anything to even take care of until then.  
5. Want your boy to look like dad - the main difference that your child will notice between him and dad is the hair. He won't even notice any difference in the penis until he is old enough that you can then explain to him the difference.  

So, what are the reasons TO circumcise? Here is the list:
Religious reasons - as discussed above.

That is all. There really is no good reason to circumcise other that personal preference and religious reasons.

Are there any reasons NOT to circumcise? Consider these:

1. Leave nature alone - whether you believe God created men with a foreskin, or nature simply evolved this way, there must be some reason men have foreskins. Why change something that God/nature has created?  
2. Sensation and sexual pleasure - the foreskin is filled with nerves, and is therefore extremely sensitive to touch. This enhances sexual pleasure.  
3. Protects the glans (head) of the penis - the glans is another highly sensitive area. The foreskin protects the glans from constant rubbing and chaffing against clothing that can desensitize it over the years. This preserves sexual pleasure.  
4. Ethical issues - there are groups of people worldwide, including medical societies, that oppose routine circumcision because they feel it is unethical for a parent to decide to alter the penis of their child without the child's consent. Parents who are deciding whether or not to circumcise their son may wish to consider the impact this may have in the future if the child decides they wish they were not circumcised.

So, when making this decision, the first thing to ask yourself is this - "Do I have any good reason to circumcise my baby?" If your answer is for religious reasons, then follow your faith. If not, and you can't think of any other significant reason other than just "because", then consider the above information as you make your decision.
 Taken from:http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/pregnancy-childbirth/whether-or-not-circumcise