what is co-sleeping

This post is not meant to be offensive to ANYONE! It is not putting down anyone else methods. It's simply explaining ours because people have questioned me about it. <3

 

 http://kellymom.com/parenting/nighttime/familybed/

 What is co-sleeping?

Co-sleeping essentially means sleeping in close proximity to your child. It may be in the same bed or just in the same room. Some ways of co-sleeping that different families use are:

• Bed-sharing/Family Bed:
  Parent(s) sleep in the same bed with the child.
• Sidecar arrangement:
  Securely attach a crib to one side of the parents’ bed, next to the mother. Three sides of the baby’s crib are left intact, but the side next to the parents’ bed is lowered or removed so that mother and baby have easy access to one another. Commercial cosleeper/sidecar cribs are also available.
• Different beds in the same room:
  This might include having baby’s bassinet or crib within arm reach of the parents (easier at night) or just in the same room; or fixing a pallet or bed for an older child on the floor next to, or at the foot of, the parents’ bed.
• Child welcomed into parents’ bed as needed:
  The baby/child has her own bedroom, but is welcomed into the parents’ bed at any time. In many families, children start their overnight hours in a separate bed or room, but are welcomed into the parents’ bed after a night waking.

When Jude came home we made the choice that co-sleeping/room sharing was for us. We have been told that Jude would become to reliant. I challenge that with the fact that all my little sister co-slept and have turned into wonderful self-reliant little girls. We were told that we wouldn't have a sex life. I can assure you that is not the case ;). We chose this because it fits our family. I feel better with my son right with me. We do some bed sharing for a little while at night sometimes,but Jude sleeps in his own bed directly against my side. We do not believe in the cry it out method. We hold/rock Jude to sleep everynight in the livingroom with us. Once he falls asleep if we want to hold him we do, if not we place him in a playpen in the corner of our livingroom. He sleeps there until bed when we move him to the bedroom with us. I'm not stupid. I know that won't last forever. I know eventually we may have to move him to the bedroom but we will do this when the time comes. We know people who are very strict in their bedtime ways and making sure the baby sleeps in their own room. THATS FINE! if it fits your life it's your baby and what works best for your family. We just wanted to explain to everyone who has questions or comments :)

Thank you Jude

I'm blessed to have married an amazing, non-judgmental, loving, and affectionate man. Believe it or not I'm not just saying that for social media purposes lol. He has always told me I'm beautiful. I've never had a doubt that he doesn't love me the way I am but it's a different thing to really feel it. When I gave birth to Jude it was an experience like non other as all mommies know. But it was that moment I realized what beauty was. I always wrote my body off. Talked about how ugly it was ect. But Jude has changed that. My son made me love myself. He doesn't care if those pant's make me look "fat". He doesn't care how cushy my stomach is. He lays his sweet little head down on my chest and stares up with a love that cannot be replicated. When I leave a room he searches for my face. When he can't find me you can see the concern on his face. He loves his daddy, and mimi and family. But Momma is his world. I role over in the morning and there is his cute little face giving me the two tooth grin. He grabs both sides of my face and plants big sloppy lips on my cheek. He lays next to me in bed and rubs my hair or arm while I feed him. He doesn't see the chubby waist I see. He could care less about my lack of muscle tone in my arms. Surely he wouldn't care if I was 5 lbs heavier or 5 lbs lighter. I'm his mommy. For that simple fact he loves me. And because he loves me I love myself. I love this body that was able to grow this beautiful creature. I love this waist that protected my little one for 9 months. I love these arms that get to hold him everyday. I love this life that I've been given. Now don't get me wrong I know I need to and am actively trying to get in better shape. But not to be skinny, or prettier. To be healthy. To be here for Jude as long as possible. Like I said Alan has always loved me. I feel that love and I know it will always be there. But it is a completely different love then the love I see in my little boy. Between the two of them I'm sure to succeed in this amazing life.

Care Packages

So Its been on my mind for a while to start making some care packages for those down on their luck. We have alot of homeless people in Asheville. I claim to be a follower of Christ but I quickly check to make sure my doors are locked and move on by. I'm not saying I can take very homeless person home that I see. I'm also not saying you should let your guard completely down. Unfortunately that cannot be done with most anyone in today's world. It's going to be a slow start. We are a one income family but I'm praying God will provide and I know he will since he has put this heavy on my heart. I want to ask anyone though who may be able to donate anything to PLEASE contact me. The big thing will be backpacks. I think it would be the best thing to put this stuff in as it is easy to carry. If you know of something better though please let me know. Most everything can be bought at the dollar tree as far as food, water, hygiene items ect.  Clothes could be some spares laying around in your closet or even something bought at goodwill.  Some of the items I'm looking for would be as follows:

1. Food - Now, this is an obvious gift, the not so obvious part if what kind of food. Most homeless people don't have stainless steel fridge they carry along with them. Something that is in a plastic container or bag. This will keep it clean and germ free until eaten. Buy food that is ok being at room temperature for a while. This means, potato salad my not be the way to go, but a box of granola bars would be.
2. Water- Specifically bottled water is a great and affordable item you can give to a homeless person. We all need water. Sometimes you can find bottled water at the grocery store that has a strap built onto it, so you can sling it over your shoulder. This would be a very thoughtful gift for a homeless person.
3. Clothing - Specifically jackets. I recently saw a homeless man digging a jacket out of a public trash could about one block form Michigan Avenue. It was a little sad to see the differences between the tourists in town to buy the latest fashions on the Magnificent Mile and the homeless man who was digging out anything he could find just to fight off the chill in the Chicago air. Why not clean out your closet and give away those warm winter jackets that are just gathering dust in your closet? In the summer maybe just some spare t-shirts. Also some socks ect.
4. First Aid Kit - This is a simple and lightweight item that would help any homeless person. You can buy great first aid kits for rout $1 at dollar tree. This simple gift would be priceless to a homeless person. I would not go for a bulky fist aid kit because they will have to carry it around with them. Look for something small that would fit into a pocket or a bag.
5. Shaving Kit - I use shaving kit loosely. Basically any toiletries that might be handy. From handy wipes to simple tissues are all very useful.
6. Tooth brush and tooth paste - This is a simple and very affordable gift anyone can easily afford to give to a homeless person.
7. Sunglasses - This is a very simple and useful gift. Many homeless people are exposed to a variety of environmental elements. Something as simple as sunglasses can make life little easier.
8. Pre-paid food cards - At almost any fast food restaurant you can buy prepaid cards that would make a great gift for a homeless person. This would give them the opportunity to buy food, as they need it.
9. Stationary - Ok, I don't mean some stationary with fancy letterhead and their name on it. I mean what about a small bag filled with writing paper, a few pens, and even some pre stamped envelopes. You never know who a homeless person may wish they could get in contact with. Long lost family that they have been estranged from is probably a huge part of many home less people's lives.
10. Bible- I would most importantly like to include a Bible in there for them. King James Bibles can be purchased at the dollar tree for $1.

      If you see anything you have laying around and would like to donate Please message me on facebook or email me at lisanicolesw@gmail.com. I will come to you to pick it up if needed! If you don't have the resources to donate anything please do something even greater for me and pray. I can use that more then anything!

Christianity and circumcision

I was told when I found out I was having a boy that I must have him circumcised because it says we must in the Bible... um yes and no...We decided not to circumcise Jude and here is some information why.
Technically it WAS something that had to be done.

Genesis 17:9-14

⁹ And God said unto Abraham, Thou shalt keep my covenant therefore, thou, and thy seed after thee in their generations.
¹⁰ This is my covenant, which ye shall keep, between me and you and thy seed after thee; Every man child among you shall be circumcised.
¹¹ And ye shall circumcise the flesh of your foreskin; and it shall be a token of the covenant betwixt me and you.
¹² And he that is eight days old shall be circumcised among you, every man child in your generations, he that is born in the house, or bought with money of any stranger, which is not of thy seed.
¹³ He that is born in thy house, and he that is bought with thy money, must needs be circumcised: and my covenant shall be in your flesh for an everlasting covenant.
¹⁴ And the uncircumcised man child whose flesh of his foreskin is not circumcised, that soul shall be cut off from his people; he hath broken my covenant. 

But then Christ came and died for our sins. He fulfilled the covenant. 

1 Corinthians 7:18-19

¹⁸ Is any man called being circumcised? let him not become uncircumcised. Is any called in uncircumcision? let him not be circumcised.
¹⁹ Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments of God.

The ceremony of circumcision was an important part of the Jews relationship with God. In fact before Christ came circumcision was commanded by God for all who claimed to be follow him. But after Christ's death, circumcision was no longer necessary( acts 15, Romans 4:9-11, Galatians 5:2-4, Colossians 2:11). Pleasing God and obeying him is more important then observing traditional ceremonies.


So basically it isnot right or wrong. It's your decision. My personal decision was to not to and I based it on alot of research. I especially found alot of info from Dr Sears.

Whether or Not to Circumcise

This is a decision that many parents face. There are many misconceptions and out-of-date information that parents may read. Here is a summary of the pertinent issues that you should consider when making this decision.

1. Medical benefits - THERE ARE NONE! Do not circumcise your baby because you think there are some medical benefits. A recent review by the American Academy of Pediatrics looked at all the data from the past decades to see if there truly were any medical benefits. Their conclusion - NO. There are no significant medical benefits that make circumcision worth doing. Here are a few benefits that we used to think were true, and now know are not.
   
   • Cleanliness - although it is true, a circumcised penis does not collect any white stuff underneath the foreskin like an intact penis does, THIS IS NOT A MEDICAL BENEFIT. It is really just one less area to wash in the shower.  
   • Decreased risk of STD's - this was a myth that we now know is not true.  
   • Decreased risk of penile cancer - it used to be thought that circumcised men had a much lower chance of cancer of the penis. We now know that this benefit is much smaller than previously thought. The AAP determined that this benefit is so tiny, it is not worth circumcising for this reason.  
   • Avoiding infections in the foreskin - it is true, occasionally intact foreskins get irritated. This is easily treated with warms soaks and washing. Rarely, the irritated foreskin becomes infected. This requires antibiotics to clear up, but is easily treatable. Even if this does happen once or twice in a person's life, it is not a reason to circumcise at birth.  
   • Avoiding the need to do it later on - very rarely, someone has a problem with recurrent infections in the foreskin that need antibiotic treatment. Some of these men then need to be circumcised in an operating room under general anesthesia. This is extremely rare, however, and is not a reason to circumcise everyone at birth.  
   • Avoiding bladder infections - it used to thought that circumcised boys and men had a much lower chance of bladder infections. The AAP now knows that this benefit is very small, and is only true for the first few years of life. After that, there is no difference in the number of bladder infections. Again, not a reason to circumcise.  
   THEREFORE, IF YOU DECIDE TO CIRCUMCISE YOUR CHILD, DO NOT DO SO BECAUSE YOU THINK THERE IS ANY MEDICAL BENEFIT.
2. Religious reasons - some people choose to circumcise for religious or cultural reasons. This is a personal decision.  
3. Don't want to be teased - while this may have been true in the U.S. decades ago, the truth is that your uncircumcised kids will be in good company in the locker room when they are teenagers. Less and less people in the U.S. are now circumcising their boys.  
4. Too much trouble to take care of - some people think that an intact penis is too much trouble to pull back and clean, especially during childhood. Well, the truth is, you are not even supposed to pull back the foreskin until it naturally comes back on its own between age 3 years and adolescence. So there really isn't anything to even take care of until then.  
5. Want your boy to look like dad - the main difference that your child will notice between him and dad is the hair. He won't even notice any difference in the penis until he is old enough that you can then explain to him the difference.  

So, what are the reasons TO circumcise? Here is the list:
Religious reasons - as discussed above.

That is all. There really is no good reason to circumcise other that personal preference and religious reasons.

Are there any reasons NOT to circumcise? Consider these:

1. Leave nature alone - whether you believe God created men with a foreskin, or nature simply evolved this way, there must be some reason men have foreskins. Why change something that God/nature has created?  
2. Sensation and sexual pleasure - the foreskin is filled with nerves, and is therefore extremely sensitive to touch. This enhances sexual pleasure.  
3. Protects the glans (head) of the penis - the glans is another highly sensitive area. The foreskin protects the glans from constant rubbing and chaffing against clothing that can desensitize it over the years. This preserves sexual pleasure.  
4. Ethical issues - there are groups of people worldwide, including medical societies, that oppose routine circumcision because they feel it is unethical for a parent to decide to alter the penis of their child without the child's consent. Parents who are deciding whether or not to circumcise their son may wish to consider the impact this may have in the future if the child decides they wish they were not circumcised.

So, when making this decision, the first thing to ask yourself is this - "Do I have any good reason to circumcise my baby?" If your answer is for religious reasons, then follow your faith. If not, and you can't think of any other significant reason other than just "because", then consider the above information as you make your decision.
 Taken from:http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/pregnancy-childbirth/whether-or-not-circumcise

Breast is Best...but it doesn't alwasy work

I had every intentions of feeding my sweet baby breastmilk. To the point I never EVER thought about formula. It had been made very clear by many people Breast is Best. Period. Well unfortunatly things don't always work that way. When Jude was born by C-section as soon as I was wheeled into the recovery room someone came in started trying to get him to latch. He was resistant and she managed to get a little colustrum into him by her finger and said he was just tired we would try later. unfortunatly after getting to the mother baby floors around 9:45 my family came up and had all headed home by 10:45 for the night. We continued to try to get my sweet baby to latch on which he failed to do. He was gaggin and kept turning blue. He was taken to NICU around 1am and we found out he would be admitted. He was in NICU for 9 days and through out the time I pumped every 2 hours religiously as I was told. I tried to feed him but he was not able to latch. We finally were given a shield but he still acted very hesitant to feed. Finally we started bottle feeding him what I had pumped. One day lacatation came in and pretty much told me I had no choice I had to get him to latch insinuating I was a bad mother if i gave him formula as he was not gaining weight like he should be. While "working" with us one day( aka forcing my son onto my breast as he screamed and cried) He quit breathing. She was shocked and jus kinda stared while I shook him trying to get him to breath in. She said oh well I'm not sure what to do about that. Finally one day while I was napping my mother was visiting helping with baby so we could get a little sleep and when latation came in she KINDLY informed them I would pump exclusivley and they needed to leave it be. Other then dirty looks I never heard anything about it agian.
         Fast forward a little bit and we came home. Jude still would not latch and I was pumping every 2 hours and feeding him out of a bottle. I had been sick for over a week from doing this. Feeling like I had the flu ect. I later found out is was sleep deprivation from all the time in the NICU and making myself wake every two hrs at night to pump, then feeding baby. Between all of it, and stressing myself because I wasn't a "good" mother I was only sleeping about 1-3 hours a day if i was lucky. We finally made the hard choice to supplement with formula. I have been informed how I should continue to try, if I was determined enough and loved my son I would make it work. I still have certain people to this day that everytime I see them they have something to say. To those people I know what is best for me and my baby. I feel sad that I could not breastfeed. I longed for that but it didn't work. I love my son and I'm doing what's best for him and our family. So please so kindly butt out. My body, my boobs, my baby, my business.

BREASTFEEDING MOTHERS:

Mothers who breastfeed should be celebrated.  They are fantastic mothers who want what is best for their children.  They are strong, intelligent women who love their children enough to feed them in the best way they can.  Their children will be healthy, happy and strong because of the love a breastfeeding mother puts  into every feed, the time she spends bonding with her child and because her child is being nurtured and feed well.  Many breastfeeding mothers have overcome huge obstacles, heartbreaking experiences and pain – physically and emotionally to feed their babies. Often they have also had to deal with criticism from uneducated, rude individuals for breastfeeding their baby.  Many find that there is not enough support which is not good enough as a breastfeeding mother should have all the support she needs to breastfeed from her whole community.   A breastfeeding mother should be proud of the way she feeds her baby, she should celebrate what a wonderful mother she is and should know that she is successfully doing the best for her family and herself by providing healthy, nutritious food and love.  

BOTTLEFEEDING MOTHERS:

Mothers who bottlefeed should be celebrated.  They are fantastic mothers who want what is best for their children.  They are strong, intelligent women who love their children enough to feed them in the best way they can.  Their children will be healthy, happy and strong because of the love a bottlefeeding mother puts  into every feed, the time she spends bonding with her child and because her child is being nurtured and feed well.  Many bottlefeeding mothers have overcome huge obstacles, heartbreaking experiences and pain – physically and emotionally to feed their babies. Often they have also had to deal with criticism from uneducated, rude individuals for bottlefeeding their baby.  Many find that there is not enough support which is not good enough as a bottlefeeding mother should have all the support she needs to bottlefeed from her whole community.   A bottlefeeding mother should be proud of the way she feeds her baby, she should celebrate what a wonderful mother she is and should know that she is successfully doing the best for her family and herself by providing healthy, nutritious food and love.

6 Weeks

Wow I have not had time to update the blog nearly as much since Jude got here...Were to start.
We got to come home on Oct 19th after 9 days in NICU.  Coming home was so fun/exciting and so scary as well. I think I spent the first week constantly checking him to make sure he was breathing lol. Because when Jude was in the NICU I was only able to actually breast feed him once a day if I was lucky we had some latching issues( well he would only latch on for minutes without the shield and was not getting enough to eat). I had been pumping in the hospital and feeding it to him via bottle. He was taking it good but was not gaining weight fast enough. We has 6 lb 9 oz when born, and when we left the hospital 9 days later he was still on 6lb 3 oz. I decided to supplement with formula to help his weight gain. We got home on Friday and when we went to the Dr on Monday and he had gained up to 6lbs 7 oz. Between supplementing and trying to pump as much as I should my milk just wasn't enough and slowly started to dry up. So We switched Jude over to all formula. I wish it wouldn't have ended that way but I'd rather hae had it happen that way and him be healthy then vice versa. I've received some flack on it from certain people (aka people who need to mind their own business). Comments made, but its all in one ear and out the other. Every baby is different. every situation is different, and we did what we thought was best for our son.
                So now in two days my little guy will be 6 weeks old. I can't believe how fast time flies. He is sleeping 5-6 hours at night. Tries to hold his head up when hes on his tummy and anytime we will let him lol( hes still a little wobbly). He's starting to make more cooing noises, and smiling a little. We haven't had but maybe one or two reactive smiles but he should be here in the nest few weeks. Also he can no fit into some of hos 0-3 months clothes but still tends to fit better in his newborn clothes. when we went for his month check up he was up to 8lbs 7 oz so hes doing great on the weight gain now. During the day he goes anywhere from 2-4 hours between feedings just depending. And he he spends at least 2-3 hours in real alert time where hes looking everywhere and taking it all in. So he is doing great.
               We have been doing good to adjusting to parenthood. It's very different then you plan on it to be but so worth it. The first month was so tiring.. I felt like we never could rest. I didn't get the rest I needed in the hospital because when the nurses were trying to get me to rest i insisted on spending all my time in the NICU.  It was basically I didn't sleep any on the 9th or 10th. Then Jude was born that night and taken to NICU around 1am. I had not slept at that point since the 8th. I stayed up all night waiting for them to take me to NICU. I was still partially numb, has leg pumps on, and a cath so I had to be taken in a wheelchair. She finally took me at 5 am and I didn't come back to my room until 1 am the next morning. I then finally fell asleep around 4am, and was back up at 5:30am heading to NICU. This was how it was for days. I think the whole 9 days I was in the hospital I slept maybe 8 hours. Most of that was once we got in the transition room and my mom would come up during the day and watch Jude and I would fall asleep for an hr in the recliner. Defiantly not the most fun. I actually started to freak out because I was so tired I sometimes literally could not remember what day it was or how long I had been there. Then once we got home I went for my two week follow up and my incision looked great. About 2 days later I noticed it had opened back up and was bleeding. I called the Dr and they had me come in. The informed me it wasn't a concern it happens alot but they put me on an antibiotic just in case to prevent infection. Two days later it had opened a little more. I ended up going back and she said it was just releasing extra fluid( I know gross). I had to go in a week later to f.u with my Dr and let her check it and make sure it was healing ok. I went in and she said it looked great.She said it looked great.I went home and I swear if over the weekend another place didn't open and the old one started bleeding again! She had me come back in and it all was fine as far as infection. They just kept having me come in to check it to make sure it wasn't getting worse. So i go back tomorrow and thankfully its been a week and it seems to have healed up mostly. It's still tender and the scar ofcourse still looks fresh which it will for months. But overall it looks good. So hopefully as of tomorrow I will be good to go.
        So overall things have been great. We love little JUJU bean to death and feel so blessed to have this little guy in our lives. I've been asked a few times if we will have anymore kids. Obviously God is the only one who knows that for sure. I said after he was born I wouldn't have anymore because all the drama we went through. But as time goes on I'm going back to my old state of mind in that I would love to have another one. Only time will tell.

Newborn pic

Working on holding my head up

My first night home...Mommy looks a little tired/dead lol

Jude is Here!!

Baby Jude has made his apperence. We went into the hospital Tuesday 10.09.12 to start induction. They started me on cervedil to jump start labor. That first night I had a bunch of contractions but nothing that was so painful. The next morning my Dr came in around 8am and broke my water and started the pitocin. THAT'S when the REAL contractions started. I've heard it said that Pitocin contractions are 3-4 times worse then natural labor and I would have to say WOW!!! I have no pain tolerence  and I made it to 5 cm until I could not stand the pain. Mainly because they were starting o trigger panic attacks. So I got my epidural around 2:30 pm. As for the epidural. I was so scared to get it but it was easy as pie. The hardest part was sitting still during the contractions. I will say I did not like the feeling it gave me. It does make you feel very out of control. But luckily I did have some control over my movement. So I wasn'tprogressing and around 7pm the  Dr came in and I had develped a fever. Baby was also anterior and was stuck and not dropping. We decided a C-setion was needed to prevent infection and Dr was afraid if we waited baby wasn't going to com out on his own and we would end up in an emergency C-section later.  Going into the C-setion I was freaking out. Mainly just the unknown of such a major surgery. Once I was in I did have a few moments of panic but once she showed me Jude over the curtain it all left my mind. I also love that Mission has a huge flat screen set up next to your head so that while they are sewing you up you can lay and watch everything they are doing to the baby( apgar score, daddy cutting cord ect). Once we went into the recovery room I got to sit up and hold my little man. We got to do skin on skin and feed and I've never been more in love. After about 2 hours of private time we went up to the Mother baby floor, and Jude started getting choked bad. They rushed him to the nursery and daddy followed. They brought him back in about 30 minutes and said he was fine just getting a little choked from fluid. Family came up to visit and it wouldn't stop. At one point he stoped breathing for a second and started spitting up green junk. They took him again and his PCP decided he needed to get checked out in NICU. I was in the room all night alone while Alan and him were getting settled in NICU. I wasn't able to go see him again until 5am the next morning. It was such a long night. When I finally seen my little man all hooked up it ripped my heart out. They said he had an infection( passed from me from my water being broken and why I had a fever during labor). They had started him on antibiotics, and IV and said we were looking at probably 1-2 days in NICU.They also did a GI scan to make sure no bloackage which came back good but showed he had EXTREME acid reflux. He finally stopped spitting so bad around Fri and I was able to start feeding him. He was doing so much better the Dr said we were going home Monday the 10.15.12. We got into a transition room and we were thrilled. That Sunday night though he started having bradycardia. Basiccally theyir little heartbeats drop below 70 beats a minute and sometimes they have spells of apnea( no breathing). He had 35 in the first night! Needless to say we didn't get to go home the next day. They decided that the Acid reflux was causing the bradycardia since all his other numbers( oxygen, resp ect) stayed the same. He started the Prilosec that night. He slowley started improving. Eating every 3 hours and having less and less bradys. We finally got to come home Friday. He still has Bradys every once in a while but the Dr is not concerned with a few. He said alot of babys have them and parents never know because they arent on monitors. We are still getting him an alarm that alerts us if he were to quit breathing for our own peace of mind.
              Needless to say it was a long hard week but having my little guy home makes it all worth it. I couldn't be more happy with my life!